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LIFE
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...WITH THE MAN who sEES.....
     THE HELLENISTIC PARADOX
Bloke up the road came back from holiday yesterday, got out of the cab in his shorts and sandals,hawaian shirt and that and a bloke in a dufflecoat walked past him as it started raining. I was telling him about when I went to Crete , 'the nearest furthest place' as the legacy of the hippy trail had it. Six of us set off one summer in an old laundry van; we rigged up a sink and cooker and some denim seat covers - and a slave amp for the cassette player
Everything was fine till we got on the ferry at Dover, then there was a mix-up over who was driving and who was drinking; then  someone lost the keys . At Calais the ferry crew had to push the van off the boat and into a lay-by  where we spent the first night.The keys were handed in by someone who found them on the floor of a lavatory cubicle and we set off the next morning Three days and three nights later, fuelled by Pro-plus and asthma tablets we arrived at Piraeus with an eight hour wait for the next ferry. Some had the sense to try and sleep before giving up and heading for a bar, others cut out the first bit. Thankfully one person just slept. As this person drove the van up the ramp and onto the ferry, another person who had been left to loll about in the back  and out of sight, lurched forward and emptied his stomach into the sink. The first we knew of it was when a trail of what looked like scrambled egg in green chartreuse started dribbling from the wastepipe and  down the ramp.
Unfortunately this didn't go down well with the harbour official guiding us on and after a short burst of temper we were guided off again to wait for the next mornings ferry provided we were all 'fit to travel'. Another night spent parked up at a ferry terminal - it was Calais all over again. We arrived on Crete and continued to re-enact our own version of 'Fear And Loathing' for three weeks before I threw in the towel and headed back home. Some of the others carried on and got as far as Morocco  before driving back through Spain  Anyway, I've never been back but the bloke up the road reckons the Greek Islands are now full of people from all over the world following our example. 

I had a feeling it might catch on