File under : philosophy

LOOK AT 
LIFE
.
...WITH THE MAN who sEES.....
       LIPOSUCTION
Some people think I could pass myself of  as a plastic surgeon.  - in appearance at least.  I could try liposuction though, it looks straight forward enough.You can get a little pump from Argos for £19.99 - I think it's for an aquarium really. A bit of tube with a sharp bit on the end and you're away, suck suck suck and a jam jar full of goo. Only it's not goo, but stored surplus energy, fuel, a sort of human ghee. You could fry chips in it, lubricate escalators with it, maybe even run your car on it.
Imagine sitting in the drivers seat with a tube in your belly or thigh which plugs into a socket on the dashboard. A tiny pump   draws a measured globule of this organically refined  royal jelly into the carburettor
from where it propels the vehicle.
The further you go the thinner you get. The more people in the vehicle, the further you can go. Obese people could travel  all over Europe and come back thin. Buses of fat old ladies could fuel trips to hospitals with the shortest waiting lists. I'm sure it must be possible to develop a room heater which would run on body fat; same thing - go out for a fish supper and nine pints of Guinness, come home and it's a bit nippy, plug yourself into the central heating and heat the the house with  the calories you didn't need
'We could have jelly banks for emergencies - be a jelly donor. Donate that surplus fat when you get back from your holidays and then in the winter distribute it to pensioners 'Thats just me being altruistic but I'm sure theres money to be made here. That computer bloke in the pub had a girlfriend who worked in a clinic.  She told him that most of their money came from selling blubber to the cosmetics industry

I wonder what time Argos closes?