FRONT PAGE

Marian Morrison

AKA John Wayne, The Duke.

Actor, racist, homophobe, misogynist, national hero and dead

In the Land of the Brave a worrying state anomaly is quietly being exposed. It appears that for some time, certainly for most of the last century, there has been a bizarre scheme of allocating female names to male births for secret State records. One of their most famous outlaws was Jessie James - outed when he turned bad; another accidental expose was that most famous of macho citizens John Wayne whose given name was Marion. Rumour has it that a form of chromosome, or nowadays DNA, testing is used to establish the required severity of a names effeminacy. With few exceptions the subject is encouraged to adopt a more traditional name and the alias is kept in reserve as additional humiliation for anyone caught behaving in a criminally antisocial manner.

Bizarre as this scheme may sound, further proof is found in two of this week's current news stories. The first is a man called Tracy. He spent sixteen years on death row for a psychotic murder before being killed a few days ago. The second is a man named Jo Anne, convicted of killing a fellow prisoner on the now rescinded evidence of three other inmates.

And how we laughed when Johnny Cash, a pal of the Duke, tried to expose the practice by singing about 'A Boy Named Sue'. We owe the man an apology.